Heart-Breaking News: The Flying Pig Presumed Lost in Space After Failing To Meet Curiosity on Mars

Like many Cyberspace stories, it all started with a GreatDismal tweet: “Okay, when is Curiosity ETA in PST?” Intrigued, I quickly discovered that Curiosity was NASA‘s hightech Space Rover and somehow it was flying autonomously and closing in on Mars. Knowing “it’s lonely out in space on such a timeless flight,” I figured Curiosity could use some company. So I launched The Flying Pig into orbit.  Many of you know that The Flying Pig is my proxy, traveling all around the world to support and promote Parkinson’s disease fundraisers and events. And yes, he even has a name: Vic. Short for Vicarious. At first, I was optimistic. Vicarious my faithful Flying Pig was flying at break-neck speed toward Curiosity screaming, “Wait For Me! Wait For Me!” But when The New York Times tweeted, “Breaking News: NASA’s Curiosity Rover Successfully Lands on Mars“ I knew The Flying Pig was doomed! Of course, there’s more to this story than meets the sty.  Suddenly, The Washington Post tweeted, “Smiles, claps, cheers: NASA live feed…” Horrified, I tweeted, “LIVE FEED? LIVE FEED? Did someone eat The Flying Pig?” I waited for someone, anyone to reply. Finally GreatDismal chimed, “Celebrating Curiosity with a cup of cream of mushroom soup. Pro tip:add a little dash of okonomi sauce #toolateforcoffee.” I breathed a sigh of relief and tweeted him, “Thanks for not adding Bacon Bits.”